- [Beaverton] Fake hockey fan able to enjoy his team signing good players without conducting armchair salary cap analysis https://thebeaverton.com/2024/01/fake-hockey-fan-able-to-enjoy-his-team-signing-good-players-without-conducting-armchair-salary-cap-analysis/ 68 comments hockey
- [The Beaverton] NHL creates audience for its new NFTs by banning helmets https://www.thebeaverton.com/2023/11/nhl-creates-audience-for-its-new-nfts-by-banning-helmets/ 83 comments hockey
- [The Beaverton] Should the Leafs be worried about Auston Matthews' assist drought? https://thebeaverton.com/2023/10/should-the-leafs-worried-about-auston-matthews-assist-drought/ 83 comments hockey
- NHL fan singing national anthem, honouring soldier with standing ovation thinks Pride Nights are too political https://thebeaverton.com/2023/03/nhl-fan-singing-national-anthem-honouring-soldier-with-standing-ovation-thinks-pride-nights-are-too-political/ 458 comments hockey
- Fantasy Manager who drafted Tage Thompson won’t shut the fuck up about it https://www.thebeaverton.com/2023/03/fantasy-manager-who-drafted-tage-thompson-wont-shut-the-fuck-up-about-it/ 117 comments hockey
- COVID-19 wins World Juniors [satire] https://www.thebeaverton.com/2021/12/covid-19-wins-world-juniors/ 23 comments hockey
- [The Beaverton] Suspended Evander Kane says he’d have to throw at least 10 games to make up for lost wages https://thebeaverton.com/2021/10/suspended-evander-kane-says-hed-have-to-throw-at-least-10-games-to-make-up-for-lost-wages/ 243 comments hockey
- [Beaverton] Drunken Habs GM sends 2am offer sheets to Hurricane Ida, “Oh Carolina” by Shaggy and Tottenham’s Harry Kane https://thebeaverton.com/2021/08/drunken-habs-gm-sends-2am-offer-sheets-to-hurricane-ida-oh-carolina-by-shaggy-and-tottenhams-harry-kane/ 31 comments hockey
- [The Beaverton] Calgary fans celebrate highlight of Flames' season https://thebeaverton.com/2021/05/calgary-fans-celebrate-highlight-of-flames-season/ 94 comments hockey
- RCMP warns of increased sectarian violence ahead of NHL's new All-Canadian division https://www.thebeaverton.com/2020/12/rcmp-warns-of-increased-sectarian-violence-ahead-of-nhls-new-all-canadian-division/ 127 comments hockey
- [The Beaverton] Tough NHL players able to play through injuries, civil rights movements https://www.thebeaverton.com/2020/08/tough-nhl-players-able-to-play-through-injuries-civil-rights-movements/ 1250 comments hockey
- [Beaverton] Team of mascots arrive from the future to kill Gritty before he gets too powerful https://www.thebeaverton.com/2019/03/team-of-mascots-arrive-from-the-future-to-kill-gritty-before-he-gets-too-powerful/?fbclid=iwar3z5ht7j8tql4uwybcjcm6gg_70teih0qbxpjcdh8cftw25hn5x9j9_lsw 103 comments hockey
- [Beaverton] Leafs bring comfort and normalcy during tough times by collapsing in playoffs https://www.thebeaverton.com/2020/08/leafs-bring-comfort-and-normalcy-during-tough-times-by-collapsing-in-playoffs/ 248 comments hockey
- [The Beaverton] Canadian holiday tradition of angrily berating teenagers continues https://www.thebeaverton.com/2019/12/canadian-holiday-tradition-of-angrily-berating-teenagers-continues/ 244 comments hockey
- Heartwarming: City of Calgary donates $275M to local billionaire https://www.thebeaverton.com/2019/07/heartwarming-city-of-calgary-donates-275m-to-local-billionaire/ 464 comments hockey
- ESPN returns to ignoring Canada’s existence https://www.thebeaverton.com/2019/07/espn-returns-to-ignoring-canadas-existence/ 70 comments nba
- Nation’s loud, uninformed uncles line up to replace Don Cherry https://www.thebeaverton.com/2019/07/nations-loud-uninformed-uncles-line-up-to-replace-don-cherry/ 206 comments hockey
- Kawhi Leonard gets a restraining order on all Canadians https://www.thebeaverton.com/2019/07/kawhi-leonard-issues-restraining-order-on-37-million-canadians/ 30 comments nba
- Raptors sweeten offer to Kawhi Leonard with 500 MB of data on Canadian cell phone plan https://www.thebeaverton.com/2019/06/raptors-sweeten-offer-to-kawhi-leonard-with-500-mb-of-data-on-canadian-cell-phone-plan/ 13 comments nba
- Raptors sweeten offer to Kawhi Leonard with 500 MB of data on Canadian cell phone plan https://www.thebeaverton.com/2019/06/raptors-sweeten-offer-to-kawhi-leonard-with-500-mb-of-data-on-canadian-cell-phone-plan/ 184 comments nba
- Montreal riots after Boston loss https://www.thebeaverton.com/2019/06/montreal-riots-after-boston-loss/ 43 comments hockey
- Trump announces tariff on Canada’s three-pointers https://www.thebeaverton.com/2019/06/trump-announces-tariff-on-canadas-three-pointers/ 12 comments nba
- Man who waited in line for three days to get into Jurassic Park horrified to discover he can just watch game at home https://www.thebeaverton.com/2019/06/man-who-waited-in-line-for-three-days-to-get-into-jurassic-park-horrified-to-discover-he-can-just-watch-game-at-home/ 7 comments nba
- Ecstatic bandwagon fan says he's always been cheering for Kevin Lowry (satire) https://www.thebeaverton.com/2019/05/ecstatic-bandwagon-fan-says-hes-always-been-cheering-for-kevin-lowry/ 11 comments nba
- “We’re ready for game 5,” says Raptors head coach Drake https://www.thebeaverton.com/2019/05/were-ready-for-game-5-says-raptors-head-coach-drake/ 19 comments nba
- Ottawa radio station still waiting for first caller to claim free Sens tickets https://www.thebeaverton.com/2017/12/ottawa-radio-station-still-waiting-first-caller-claim-free-sens-tickets/ 77 comments hockey
- Don Cherry woken from cryosleep as NHL season kicks off -[satire] https://www.thebeaverton.com/2018/10/don-cherry-woken-from-cryosleep-as-nhl-season-kicks-off/ 4 comments hockey
- [The Beaverton (Satire News)] Eugene Melnyk figures now is a good time to ask Sens fans for another liver https://www.thebeaverton.com/2018/09/eugene-melnyk-figures-now-is-a-good-time-to-ask-sens-fans-for-another-liver/ 56 comments hockey
- Inspiring! Leafs restore normalcy to Toronto by collapsing in playoffs https://www.thebeaverton.com/2018/04/inspiring-leafs-restore-normalcy-to-toronto-by-collapsing-in-playoffs/ 265 comments hockey
- Ottawa Senators head into trade deadline looking to acquire dedicated fan base - [satire] https://www.thebeaverton.com/2018/02/ottawa-senators-head-trade-deadline-looking-acquire-dedicated-fan-base/ 358 comments hockey
- What's-His-Face, That Guy named to Canadian Olympic men's hockey team [Beaverton] https://www.thebeaverton.com/2018/01/whats-face-guy-named-canadian-mens-olympic-hockey-team/ 12 comments hockey
- Ottawa radio station still waiting for first caller to claim free Sens tickets https://www.thebeaverton.com/2017/12/ottawa-radio-station-still-waiting-first-caller-claim-free-sens-tickets/ 225 comments hockey
- NHL threatens to move Canucks to Calgary if city doesn't build new stadium https://www.thebeaverton.com/2017/09/nhl-threatens-move-canucks-calgary-city-doesnt-build-new-stadium/ 85 comments hockey
- [Satire] Kyle Lowry wakes from surgery to find Drake asleep in hospital room chair https://www.thebeaverton.com/2017/02/kyle-lowry-wakes-surgery-find-drake-asleep-hospital-room-chair/ 4 comments nba
- I voted to release millions of hornets, and I already regret it https://www.thebeaverton.com/2017/01/voted-release-millions-hornets-already-regret/ 14 comments politics
- Don Cherry Hospitalized After Cold-FX Overdose https://www.thebeaverton.com/2016/02/don-cherry-hospitalized-after-cold-fx-overdose/ 32 comments hockey
- Making playoffs forces Phil Kessel to cancel annual fishing trip http://www.thebeaverton.com/sports/item/2610-making-playoffs-forces-phil-kessel-to-cancel-annual-fishing-trip 214 comments hockey
- Toronto Raptors promised no more Drake if they win next 5 games http://www.thebeaverton.com/toronto-raptors-promised-no-more-drake-if-they-win-next-5-games.htm 8 comments nba
- 90% of RCMP attempt to retire on high note immediately after BC terror arrests http://www.thebeaverton.com/national/national-in-brief/item/764-90-of-rcmp-attempt-to-retire-on-high-note-immediately-after-bc-terror-arrests 3 comments worldnews
- Chris Hadfield returns to Earth with a $1.37M Rogers phone bill. http://www.thebeaverton.com/national/national-in-brief/item/712-hadfield-comes-home-to-1-37-million-rogers-phone-bill 4 comments worldnews